13 June, 2012

Ignorant Again


Manic me crashes
into trees and telephone poles

fantasy isn’t meant to last forever
it’s the universe’s chewing gum—meant to keep your mouth busy

I’ve spent more time thinking about suicide
than I have marriage

and I only started listening to Jesus Radio
when I too came back from the dead

I still mute the commercials
and pretend the sky isn’t rotting

I am not gay or happy
but I ain’t straight or sad either

I certainly don’t need another girlfriend
but I could use a mother

makes me wonder
why men can’t be nuns

I’m not depressed
I’m just aware that we are all running out of time

and everything I learned in hell
is useless in this new heaven

spreading out the doubt between clouds
I want to wink and keep moving

everything that I have been thus far
hasn’t worked out so well

so don’t be shy
if you see me wearing a new hat

the best kept mystery of what I am becoming
at first—I won’t know how to do it

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