01 July, 2012

Bleed


I have been a monster
consumed people
mainly women
destroying them from the inside out
taking my pleasure with no regard
confident, arrogant, unthinking
then I was alone in a jail cell for a year
my self-serving ways wormed around in my gut

released to uncertainty
I was the wounded bird
the heal me cripple kid looking for nurturing
tenderness to forgive my monstrosities
clinging to attachment to a reflection of
redemption and practice
at being the beast without consequence
hiding away all those masculine thoughts
thinking they only lead to pain
but riding this empty mono-rail
the pain was the same

Do not mistake my tameness
the why I hesitate
as unknowing
I dare not too.
it is knowing
that I can destroy you too
and would enjoy every bit of it

but maybe it’s my
turn to be destroyed
so I can
be a born again
masochist
dangling from meat hooks in your kitchen
I have no center to give
it was a lie
all I have are edges
sharp edges
to bleed on

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