Bleed

I have been a monster

consumed people

mainly women

destroying them from the inside out

taking my pleasure with no regard

confident, arrogant, unthinking

then I was alone in a jail cell for a year

my self-serving ways wormed around in my gut

released to uncertainty

I was the wounded bird

the heal me cripple kid looking for nurturing

tenderness to forgive my monstrosities

clinging to attachment to a reflection of

redemption and practice

at being the beast without consequence

hiding away all those masculine thoughts

thinking they only lead to pain

but riding this empty mono-rail

the pain was the same

Do not mistake my tameness

the why I hesitate

as unknowing

I dare not too.

it is knowing

that I can destroy you too

and would enjoy every bit of it

but maybe it’s my

turn to be destroyed

so I can

be a born again

masochist

dangling from meat hooks in your kitchen

I have no center to give

it was a lie

all I have are edges

sharp edges

to bleed on