conflict

I contradict myself, conflicted, spouting words without action,

I lie to me, like I said I wouldn’t,

My credit cards are maxed as I preach about the evils of capitalism

I say, I abhor violence, but I love to make people flinch,

I believe in freedom of speech, yet you better watch what you say to me,

I serve the greater good, some days that means I steal what I eat,

I want to save the world, but when I can’t, I try to destroy it,

I am in conflict, concaved and conditioned to coerce and conceive

I hate hippies, but I loved my hippy mother,

I say things like “it will get better,” but it never does

Try harder, keep up the good work, everyday is a gift,

all bullshit I never believed,

conflicted, I told a man

that I was all about the whales

all about the spotted owl

all about the starving children in places I never been

but I don’t look anymore, I turn away from their suffering

after I sell my first book, buy a house, see a doctor, get my teeth worked on,

I may change my mind about the evils of capitalism

I may forget how to spell oppression

and all the wonderful colors we paint it with

being poor makes you hate money, and crave it desperately